Many people seek therapy with issues and concerns related to sexuality and sexual identity. Are you a survivor of sexual trauma whose experiences have interfered with your ability to enjoy your sexuality and have positive sexual experiences with others? Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community and you want to ensure that your identity is respected and affirmed in treatment? Do you identify as “kinky” and worry that disclosing your sexual preferences will result in being pathologized and labelled sexually unhealthy? Are you polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous and wanting to process issues related to relationships in a space that is free of judgment?
I am a sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirmative, polyamory-friendly and kink-informed therapist. I am passionate about helping clients with issues regarding sexuality and sexual identity, and I welcome all clients regardless of their sexual orientations, preferences, practices, identities, and relationship styles.
I am sex-positive.
Sex positivity means being respectful and affirming of all sexual, gender, body, and relationship identities, expressions, experiences, and orientations. Sex-positive therapy is incredibly important in supporting healthy sexual development, especially in mainstream Western society, where the traditional view of sex is overwhelmingly heteronormative, oppressive, hierarchical, and sex-shaming. Sex positivity celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationship structures, and individual choices based on consent between or among partners.
Everyone can benefit from exploring their sexuality in a non-judgmental way. Sex-positive therapy affirms your sexuality, without making it the sole focus of your treatment. You can work out issues you have around sexuality, without being pressured to change your identity, or feeling that how you feel is “wrong.” By accepting and normalizing sexual desires and behaviors rather than pathologizing them, we can live more congruently and authentically.
I am LGBTQIA+ affirmative.
LGBTQIA+ is an acronym used to describe either a person’s sexual orientation and gender identity, and it is an inclusive term used to describe a community of people who don’t identify as heterosexual and cisgender. LGBTQIA+ affirmative therapy embraces a positive view of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, non-binary and gender non-conforming identities and relationships, and actively addresses the negative influences that homophobia, transphobia, and heterosexism have on the lives of clients in this community. I am knowledgeable about the challenges that people in this community face, and I am dedicated to providing a safe and affirming environment to every client who walks through my door.
I am a polyamory-friendly and kink-informed therapist.
Polyamory/ethical non-monogamy and kink/BDSM have become increasingly visible over the past several years in mainstream media. However, that doesn’t mean that all therapists are comfortable or competent in treating clients with diverse sexual identities and practices. Clients often worry about talking to a therapist about kink, fetishes and/or BDSM, or about sharing that they are polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous. They may be fearful that they will be judged or pathologized for sharing their sexual curiosities, activities or preferences. Some are concerned that they will have to spend time educating their therapist if they are not already informed. Others are worried that the therapist will focus on their sexual preferences and practices rather than on the issues that actually brings them to therapy.
I am knowledgeable and informed about both polyamory/ethical non-monogamy and kink/BDSM, and I am comfortable supporting clients who belong to these communities. I am comfortable working with clients who identify as kinky, practice BDSM, or have specific sexual fetishes, and I create an accepting and non-judgmental space for people to share openly and honestly about themselves. I am familiar with the many different kinds of “non-traditional” relationship styles and configurations that can healthily exist between multiple people, and I do not assume that clients are monogamous by default. I recognize that there is a wide spectrum of diverse sexualities, and that there are many ways to find pleasure and satisfaction in consensual romantic and sexual relationships and practices.
As a sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, kink-aware, and poly-friendly clinician, I can help in a variety of ways:
- Relationship Issues: I recognize the many ways that relationships can be structured, including power exchange dynamics and multiple romantic partnerships. I will support you in your issues without assuming that the solution is to change the structure of the relationship to fit a more heteronormative “traditional” format. I can help you to navigate polyamorous relationships and negotiate agreements that best serve you and your partners, identifying and honoring all of your needs.
- Internalized Oppression: Some people struggle with feelings of guilt and shame about their sexual orientation or preferences. I can help you understand and challenge the sources of your shame and develop compassion and acceptance for yourself. I will be aware that any distress you have about your sexual identity may be a normal part of internalized cultural bias rather than evidence of a disorder.
- Role Conflicts: I recognize that it can be challenging to navigate your sexual orientation and identity and how it relates to the expectations of your larger culture context and the various roles you hold in your life. I will be sensitive to how your identity affects your work, social, and family relationships, and help you work through the challenges that arise.
- Coming Out: I can help you explore your own sexual identity and preferences and find self-acceptance. I can support you in disclosing your preferences to a partner, or coming out to others in your life. If you wish to begin participating in a larger community connected to your sexual orientation, I can help connect you with community resources.
- Trauma & Abuse: As both a kink-aware and trauma-informed therapist, I recognize the difference between consensual BDSM practices and interpersonal abuse and violence. If you have experienced abuse within a BDSM relationship, I can help you work through that in a safe and understanding environment. If you have a history of interpersonal trauma and have concerns about whether your trauma history is connected to your sexual preferences and practices, I can help you process your experiences and the impact they have had to ensure that your current relationships and practices are positive and connected to your process of healing.
- Other Concerns: I will not automatically assume that the issues you are seeking help for, such as depression, anxiety, or relationship struggles, are related to your sexual identity or preferences. I won’t make assumptions about your treatment goals, and I will never try to “cure” you of your sexual orientation or your desires to participate in BDSM activities or polyamorous relationships.
If you are interested in sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirmative, poly-friendly, and kink-aware therapy, and you live in Claremont, Upland, Pomona, La Verne, San Dimas, Glendora, Rancho Cucamonga, or one of the other surrounding cities in the San Gabriel Valley and Inland Empire, contact me to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation and learn more about how I can help.